I wake up this morning and I can't decide if I am feeling any more "Christmasy" or not. It has been a struggle this year to get behind this whole "Christmas" idea. And I am not really sure why, which is more frustrating than anything because I like to have everything figured out and laid out right in front of me. I might not be able to fix it but at the very least I can usually know what is wrong with me. But not this time. So here we are on Christmas Eve and I wish I could close my eyes and jump straight to the Candlelight Service at church. And that is surprising to me as well considering how on most days I am more defiant to my God than I ever would care to admit but tonight I just want to acknowledge my saviour. If just for a bit. Quietly, humbly. To worship Him in a fashion in which He chose to come into this world.
It is days like this where I wonder if they knew what as really going on 2000 years ago. Even if Mary and Joseph really conceived what was going to happen through a life of a child. But to be honest I wonder if I really ever understand the magnitude of it all.
We have turned a celebration of his coming into a formulaic and ritualized holiday that centers around family and presents. Good for the economy but this year I am struggling to see where this fits into a Saviour that taught his followers to sell all they had. As a human race we have progressed so far and yet the days in which we are most meant to dwell on the Saviour that has come is the time in which it is so easy to lose sight of him amongst the craziness.
He could have come in splendor. He could have come in glory. He could have come as a warrior. But instead He came as a man. A simple man in a trough in a barn. Yet, a God that would take my brokenness and shame and cast it on Himself and pay my burden because He was the only one that could defeat it and rescue us all.
Worship these next two days is found in a small whisper amongst the roar of everything else.
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